I had a patient come in the other day for the procedure to transfer her embryos back into her uterus as part of her IVF cycle. She had on these brightly-colored socks with smiley faces all over them. I told her that I liked her socks. She told me they make her happy, and so she thought they would be good for this occasion. I thought they were perfect!
There is definitely a connection between your mind and your body. Both men and women's bodies are designed to decrease their fertility with increasing stress. An extreme example of this would be women sentenced to death awaiting execution. That type of stress is often enough to stop menstrual cycles altogether. Lesser amounts of stress can be harmful too. If you think of it from your body's point of view, why would it think it is a good idea to have another mouth to feed when things are already stressful?
Unfortunately, infertility itself is stressful. Women with infertility are two to three times more likely to suffer from depression than other women. Unlike women with other medical illnesses, women with infertility are less likely to talk to friends and family about what is happening. When they do, they may not get all the sympathy they expect either. All of this leads to more stress.
So what can be done? Studies have shown that stress relievers like meditation, yoga, group therapy, acupuncture, etc can be helpful. Sit down and evaluate your lifestyle. Does it have "me" time in it? If not, find some. Find a yoga class or join a gym. There are wonderful therapists that specialize in relaxation techniques. Set time aside to take long walks, whatever works for you. Find your "happy socks". It may be time to eliminate other stressors as well. That committee that you volunteered for that is eating up all of your free time has got to go!
Do not let the destressing process become stressful either, though. You do not have to be in a perfect Zen state to conceive. Do not worry if you have a bad day, it's going to happen. If one bad day kept everyone from conceiving, there would be a lot less babies in the world! Fertility medications will also overcome a lot of the negative effects of stress too. So your goal should be to get the chronic high levels of stress under control. Doing that will allow you to better tolerate the unexpected stress like the idiot in the other lane who just cut you off. It will help you with the stress of infertility treatments as well.
If you do have any of the symptoms of depression (sadness that feels overwhelming or lasts for long periods of time; difficulty concentrating or making decisions; exremem fatigue and decreased energy; feelings of guilt, helplessness, hopelessness or worthlessness; insomnia or excessive sleeping; irritability or restlessness; loss of interest in activities that used to be pleasurable; extreme hunger or lack of interest in food; persistent aches and pains that don't go away with treatment; persistent sad, anxious or empty feelings; or thoughts of suicide) please go see your doctor. There are wonderful treatments out there for depression and there is no need to suffer in silence.
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