I had a bunch of prescriptions for different testing to be done. This was it--I was on my way. The easiest to get done seemed to be the bloodwork, so I started with that. Unfortunately, as the employee of a large University, I was very limited as to where I could go for bloodwork. After several phone calls, I was informed by Human Resources that going to the hospital lab was my best option. So on my lunch hour, I went down to get the labs drawn. It took half an hour just to register me in the system, but the rest went smoothly. I was informed that it would take 7 - 10 business days to get the results back. Ugh! I had thought they would be back in a day or 2. No matter, I told myself, just stay busy and don't think about it.
Next was the hysterosalpingogram. This is an x-ray test where contrast (a kind of dye for x-rays) is injected into uterus and through the fallopian tubes to see if the tubes are open. I had heard horror stories about this test. Patients had complained that the pain was worse than labor pains! I scheduled the test for my lunch hour. I wondered what I would tell everyone, if I was in too much pain to go back to work. Other than the doctor treating me, nobody knew that I was having problems getting pregnant. I took 3 ibuprofen tablets before heading down to the radiology department. When I got there, the radiologist who was going to do the test recognized me. NOT the anonymity I was hoping for!! He was very kind and understanding, though. A speculum was put in, and my cervix was grasped with a clamp called a tenaculum. It caused this dull achy feeling throughout my pelvis. The contrast was infused through a tube in the cervix, and I felt strong menstrual cramps. The radiologist asked me to turn on my side and then on the other side. This was not easy with all those instruments in my cervix, but I managed. I could feel the nurses watching me: here was an actual doctor undergoing a procedure. How would she react? I was wondering the same thing. I had ordered hundreds of these tests on other women. I told them that it was "uncomfortable, but not that bad." Most of them had agreed with that description afterwards, but a few had thought it was terrible. Would I be one of them? When the radiologist was finished, the nurses expressed their surprise. I hadn't given them any indication of pain. I told them that it was uncomfortable, but not that bad. I smiled to myself. The radiologist explained that my tubes were open and my uterus looked normal. I was relieved, but also frustrated. Why wasn't I getting pregnant? I wanted an answer.
The final test was the semen analysis. I brought a cup home for my husband. He looked startled for a minute, when I described what he was supposed to do with the cup. He recovered quickly, though, and took it in stride. I told him that I needed the specimen the next morning, so I could bring in to the lab when I went to work. This, of course, meant more people were going to know what was going on, but I didn't see a way around it. Looking at sperm is not easy. They swim pretty quickly. You want a lab that does many analyses a day, or you may not get accurate results. I woke up the next morning to a blizzard. Oh well, I thought, I still have to go to work. I'll just bring it with me as I had planned.
The problem with transporting sperm specimens is that sperm like to be pretty close to body temperature. So you can't just plunk the container on the seat next to you and drive it in. I tucked it in my waistband of my pants and buttoned my coat over it. There, I thought, no one will see the bulge through my coat. When I got to work, however, there was no one in the lab to take the specimen. The blizzard was causing traffic accidents all over New Jersey, and our technician had been caught in one. Now what? I couldn't leave it in my desk, it would get too cold. I wasn't sure where to leave it in the lab, and I didn't want it thrown out. After a few seconds of panic, I decided the only option was to leave it in my waistband. So I put on my white coat and buttoned it over the container. I saw 2 patients this way. If they noticed, they certainly didn't say anything! I was so worried that it would shift and fall out or that the lid would come loose and the contents would spill. That would have been very embarrasing! When I went back to the lab, the technician had arrived. I gratefully handed over the specimen and explained the situation. The technician didn't react at all to the fact that I was trying to conceive, and for that, I was grateful. Now all I had to do was wait for results, which I still think is the hardest part of infertility--all that waiting and hoping and worrying!
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